I want to die everyday.

 I want to die every day.

Because sometimes I remember how it feels when the hands of people I don't want touch my body.

Painfull.

I want to die every day, because sometimes I suddenly remember the feeling of a strange breath blowing against my face.

I wanted to die every day, because the voices I hated suddenly crossed my mind.

I want to die every day because the faces of the people who I remember leaving me in the back shed I've been seeing so often lately.

I want to die every day because I can't have the skin I want, I can't have the voice I want, I can't have the eyes I admire, I can't have the reason I have.

I want to die every day, not because I can never wear a nice dress, beautiful shoes or expensive wagoon .

I want to die every day because, I suddenly wake up at night, cannot breathe.

Couldn't go back to sleep.

awake.

But it was dark and quiet, only the cries of a kitten could be heard in the distance.

I want to die every day because my skin is really itchy, scratching doesn't get rid of the itching.

I wanted to die every day because I couldn't see and started to worry, whether I could have my own life or if I would lose my soul to being eaten by reality.

I'm scared.

And I want to die every day.

I want to die every day but I remember there were days when I could sleep well.

And I wake up not alone.

I wanted to die every day but then I remembered, I can eat greedly even though not everything can last long in my throat and stomach.

I want to die every day so that I can find the only true love that is mine and only mine.

But I remember the smell of roast beef and I want to eat it again.

I want to die every day

But I remember the sound of the waves crashing and the wind ruffling my hair. I want to go there again. 

I want to die every day but I remember the bitter taste of the beer I drank together and the several bottles of liquor colliding. I won't find anything other than here. 

I want to die every day but I remember the smell of synthetic leather in his car seat mixed with fresh fruity perfume, Daniel Caesar's song on mp3, beer and beach foam, dozens of laughs, instant noodles at high altitude, fried rice on the roadside, eye gazes and kisses . 

I want it all over again. 

Million times